ladies and gentlemen, the american education system
My school apparently ran out of toilet paper a few weeks ago and my Spanish teacher was telling the girls to keep a roll in their purses and the guys to keep a roll in our backpacks. North American Education system.
this is basically any public school in the world tbh
My old school, we had no tissues in classrooms, we had no soap, you had to pay for forks at the canteen, there was only one water fountain. It was a bloody private school.
In Chile we not only pay for forks, but for education as well, no soap included
We have a frog and a pig
a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman
a donkey and a dragon
a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn
and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub
But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie
I thought this was gonna be about gay couples but gee was I mistaken
Una vez tuve el pelo largo, lo corte, crecio, lo corte aun mas corto, y cuando me aburri me hice chasquilla, hola
okay, storytime. At a group sleepover, there’s this girl, the most innocent thing you’ve ever met, k? She nods off on the couch early on in the night. As everyone’s getting ready to play cards, one of my friends lean back and hears her mumbling in her sleep.
My friend motions for everyone to be quiet. The girl snuggles her blanket, smiles, and in the sweetest voice, says, “Go on, Brandon. You can jump. It’s only 30 stories.”
My boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep. One of my favourites so far was when he rolled over early one morning and says to me, very seriously and matter-of-fact,
"Don’t turn him into an alcoholic."
"The tiny monkey. Don’t turn him into an alcoholic."
My mother swears that my father, a chemical engineer, used to mutter chemical formulas in his sleep.
My brother used to speak Russian.
Once when I was sleeping, I shot up and looked at my friend Mandii and was like, “circles…”
"What about circles?"
"I fucking like em."
Once, shortly after we moved in together, my boyfriend rolled over to me in his sleep, and in the most serious tone of voice ever, said “whoa, it’s an obese blonde Asian guy. I’ll make it rain if you bounce that booty girl.”
He has no recollection of this and I still taunt him mercilessly about it every time I think of it.
Man, listener-blue has some crackers from things she says in her sleep.
Alas I can’t repeat them here because I don’t want the next thing she says in her sleep to be the last thing I hear :P
My friends have told me that I mumble in my sleep but there is always one word that makes sense. also I have a friend that once started yelling. “Bugs! Bugs! Bugs don’t exist at home. Except on the ceiling but dad kills them.”
My heart stopped. It just stopped beating. And for the first time in my life, I had that feeling. You know, like the world is moving all around you, all beneath you, all inside you, and you’re floating. Floating in midair. And the only thing keeping you from drifting away is the other person’s eyes. They’re connected to yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and twirls and falls completely away.